The Slow Lane
I’m glad it didn’t matter in the end because we never decided who followed whom. It
certainly wasn’t the way I would have expected to get anyone’s attention. Of course, I didn’t
have any idea how I would meet a guy. I thought it was fortunate that I still had lots of time
because I seemed to have spent the year since college eliminating the possibility of meeting
anyone.
Monday through Friday I was at work. The only available guy in my office was Ryan. Sure,
he was sweet and cute but it was not professional to have a crush on your coworker. Saturdays I
visited an all-female gym with my friend Shannon. She insisted the absence of distractions made
for a better workout. I wasn’t sure how much good the workouts did anyway since we always
treated ourselves to milkshakes afterwards. But the absence of “distractions” was important to
Shannon and fine for her since she had a boyfriend. I had already been fixed up with his friends
during college so that was another dead end.
Sundays I went to church with my parents. Even if we didn’t talk to the same group of old
people every week, there was that whole “with my parents” thing. I was reasonably confident
that the possibility of meeting a guy did not exist while with my parents.
I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about my lack of prospects. I figured something would
change in a few years and then I would meet someone. So the only thing I was thinking about
that Thursday afternoon was the clock.
My normal commute was 20 minutes. It swelled to at least 45 minutes while I was stuck on
the phone with a customer who seemed to have no idea that the clock was striking 5 and that I
was turning into a pumpkin as we spoke. I jealously watched my coworkers file out. Kim gave
me a sympathetic wave. Ryan stuck his tongue out at me. He only got away with that because
he had been the one stuck past 5 the day before. When I managed to wrap up the call I wrapped
myself slowly, for there was no longer any reason to rush, into my cozy fleece jacket. I grabbed
my stuff and waved to my boss before heading to my car.
Cars seemed to have appeared out of nowhere to clog my way home. I put on some music as
I made that first tricky left. Then I only had to endure the tedium of about four miles of stop and
go traffic. I was trying not to think about how hungry I’d be by the time I got home. A good
song got my mind off my stomach for a minute. There were two lanes of crawling cars. I caught
a man to my right trying to hide the fact that he thought my animated singing was hilarious. I
switched off the radio and sat in silence and shame, casting shifty glances to my right to see
when I was safely past Mr. It’s-So-Funny-to-See-Someone-Enjoying-Herself.
I sighed and watched his car move past me again. I guessed I would have to settle for
boredom at least until I could get some distance between me and that smirking guy. Both lanes
stopped. I gripped the steering wheel. I looked ahead of smirking guy and noticed my car twin
in his lane. Same silver color and same fairly common model. I couldn’t see the driver, only his
hands on the steering wheel. But the hands were not holding the steering wheel. They were
resting against it while playing with some sort of neon pink… thing. Whatever it was had
rubbery tentacles that the hands were tugging and letting spring back.
That driver looked as bored as I was. The hands were pulling and snapping in rhythm. I
began to think perhaps that other driver wasn’t actually bored at all. He seemed to be having fun
with the pink tentacles. My lane shifted forward. I watched to my right as I moved up to get a
peek at who was in that car.
I expected an old guy. At least someone old enough to have a daughter who left bright pink
rubbery things in his car. Since I was only 23 that would have been kind of old. But he turned
out to be a guy who looked close to my age and who was attractive enough that I took more than
a quick peek. I looked long enough that he glanced in my direction and saw me looking. I
quickly focused my attention on the road ahead.
Stupid traffic. His lane moved up a bit as mine stopped again. I recognized that silver car as
it pulled up almost level with mine. I could tell he was looking at me and trying to get my
attention, but I refused to look over. I’d rather have been caught singing to the radio again than
checking out the guy next to me. I turned the music back on. Now I was clearly not ignoring
him, just concentrating on something else. My lane moved forward.
Then it stopped. The right lane moved up and the guy stopped just ahead of me. He rolled
down his window and stuck his arm out to wave at me. I couldn’t pretend not to notice that. I
waved back and tried to act like he was the one who should be embarrassed. After all, I was not
a grown man playing with a little girl’s toy. We continued to leap frog each other and he
continued to smile at me each time. There was no ring on the hand that came out the window
and no car seat in the back of his car. He seemed available enough that I didn’t see the harm in a
bit of flirting. The few times I had flirted in the past had ended in miserable humiliation… mine.
I was never going to see traffic guy again so I let myself return his smiles and playfully
pretended I couldn’t guess that he was trying to get me to roll down my window.
He held up his phone. I nodded as though agreeing that it was a very nice phone. He gave
me a look of mock frustration and my empty stomach did a weird twist that wasn’t related to lack
of food.
Then all of me jumped as a horn blared behind me. I tried to look sorry - honestly it wasn’t
too difficult - as I moved my car to fill in the void in my lane. Traffic guy looked at me
hopefully and used his fingers to flash what I recognized as our area code. My face flushed.
This guy might not be hoping to never see me again. I didn’t know how I felt about that. I
almost wished for boredom again, though only for a second.
Unfortunately, I realized that I had become so not bored that I wasn’t paying attention to how
far the traffic had moved. I was suddenly aware of being in the wrong lane. I needed to make
the next right and I needed someone to let me into the right lane in a hurry. I flipped on my
signal as traffic guy returned to my side. I pointed helplessly in front of his car to indicate that I
needed to switch lanes. He nodded and offered me the spot with a slight wave of his hand.
Awesome. I thought that for once in my life flirting had actually gotten me somewhere.
The traffic was a bit thinner on this new street. It was still slow because of all the stoplights.
I wondered if a certain other silver car was going to pull up next to me at the next one and try to
work on the rest of that phone number. He stayed behind me though. His turn signal still
flashing incessantly to the right.
I flipped my own signal up long enough for two or three flashes and then switched it off.
The one behind me kept flashing. He wasn’t taking the hint. I had decided that traffic guy must
be a moron before I figured out who the real moron was. He was trying to get me to pull over. I
was the one not getting the hint. Here I was about to obliviously drive right out of his life.
Oh. My. Goodness. Drive out of his life? I cannot believe I imagined that thought in his
head. He was just having fun with me, surely. But he had made my commute more fun than it
had been in a very long… well, ever. I could pull into that strip mall and chat for five minutes.
My stomach rumbled as I flipped my signal on again. Maybe four minutes.
A voice that sounded suspiciously like my mother made me park my car in front of the dry
cleaner’s. That seemed like a place that would have a lot of witnesses that time of day. I turned
the car off and tried to pretend I had ever done something like this before. Traffic guy was
getting out of his car two parking spaces to my right. Deep breath in, slowly out.
I opened my door and tried to climb out before I unbuckled my seat belt. So much for
pretending I knew what I was doing.
He met me in front of my car. I said, “Hi.”
“Hi.”
I looked at a dark spot on the sidewalk between us for a moment. “So…”
“So…” he repeated.
My own lack of words was due to an abundance of nerves. I didn’t know what kept traffic
guy so silent. The grin told me he was more amused than surprised by the situation. I suddenly
felt like a 7th grader trying to catch the eye of a senior. I needed to get this over with. Time to
rip off the band-aid before my ears got any more red. “Did you want something?” I asked.
“Did I want something?”
“Um, yeah… I mean… I assume you wanted me to pull over for a reason.”
He let out a soft chuckle. “I didn’t want you to think you had followed me for nothing.”
“You followed me.”
He nodded. “After you insisted on my letting you in to turn the same way I was. I thought
you intended to lead me here.”
“Oh, well, I’m just on my way home from work so… nice meeting you.” I moved quickly
back to the side of my car, aware of how incredibly lame that sounded and more aware of my
desire to get away.
“But we didn’t meet yet,” he said. “I’m Shawn and you are?”
I stopped and sighed, then turned to face him, but kept my hand on the car door handle. “I’m
Mia.”
“Mia. I can see you’re in a hurry, but maybe I could get your number so we can talk more
later.”
“I… don’t really think that’s a good idea.”
“We were having fun in traffic back there.” He jerked his head the direction of that last turn.
I smiled weakly. The part before I had to talk had been fun.
“Enough fun that you wanted to follow me this way.”
“I didn’t…” I wasn’t sure it would be better to explain how I had almost missed my turn
because of him. “I’m just not sure I’m comfortable with giving out my number.”
“Will you take my number so you can think about it?”
“Um…” I didn’t know how to answer because I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be
thinking about.
“Here.” He stepped toward me and held out his hand. “Let me put my number in your phone
and then you’ll be able to text me yours if you decide we should talk more.”
That seemed like the fastest way back into my car. I pulled my phone out and handed it to
Shawn. The look on his face said that he was doing me a favor as he typed into my phone. He
handed it back and winked as he turned around. I sat in my car and waited for him to leave first.
Now there would be no chance of anyone following anyone. Instead of a last name, he had typed
Shawn (call me).
I went home and had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner. It was easy and familiar,
my favorite type of boring.
Kim was the one I talked to most at work. I told her in the morning that I had met a guy but
that she’d have to wait until lunch for details. Her eyes got wide for a moment and then she tried
to put a serious face over the paperwork on her desk. She didn’t ask questions, but flashed
knowing smiles at me throughout the morning.
Ryan came back with my lunch just before noon. I packed my lunch the other four days.
Ryan picked something up every day and somehow he started grabbing my weekly splurge for
me.
“Get it while it’s hot, Mia,” he called on his way back to the break room. I put down my pen
and followed him. The break room was also a conference room, in theory. I had never seen it
used as such, but there was a whiteboard next to the microwave and a shiny wood table under the
cheesy checkered tablecloth.
Ryan had already laid out my share of the food across from his so I sat facing him. Kim
blew in right behind me. She pulled a bag out of the fridge, sat down in something of a huff and
said, “Now spill it.”
Ryan protectively picked up both of our drinks as though they might be in harm’s way. Kim
rolled her eyes at him and he put them back down. She focused her attention back on me. “Start
at the beginning. Where’d you meet him?”
Another employee, Michelle, had come in before I could answer. “Wait for me,” she said as
she grabbed a clear sandwich box from the fridge. She took the seat next to Ryan and made a
show of getting comfortable. “Okay, so you were saying?” Michelle prompted me with raised
eyebrows.
“I wasn’t really saying anything yet.”
“Where’d you meet him?” Kim said again.
“On my way home yesterday.” I took a bite of my chicken wrap while Kim’s imagination
revved up.
“Oh, no! You ran into each other? That’s so embarrassing! Wait, at least tell me it was his
fault.”
My mouth was still full so I shook my head.
“Oh. You hit him!? You must have been mortified. Was he cute? Tell me he was cute.”
I was kind of enjoying the spotlight and didn’t see the need to rush through my story.
Besides, the version in Kim’s head sounded more entertaining than reality. I looked at Ryan
instead. “This is cold, by the way.”
Ryan grinned at me and his dimples popped out. Or in. I guess dimples pop in. But Kim
said, “So what! Who cares about your lunch? Tell us what happened.”
Michelle didn’t say anything. She simply kept me the focal point of her eager gaze.
“Okay,” I said. “There was no accident.”
“Well, how did you meet him on the way home then? Where else did you go? I’ve heard you
can meet guys over groceries. Did you stop at the store?”
“Just let her talk,” Ryan interjected.
Kim pretended to zip her lips and lock them with an imaginary key, which she dropped onto
the table.
“I better hold on to that,” Ryan said as he made a grab for the non-existent key. Kim glared
at him as he pretended to stuff it in his pocket. It made me laugh though.
“Here’s what happened,” I said. “You know I was late getting out of here so High House
was a parking lot…” I got three understanding nods and then continued. “I was in the left lane
and a guy in the right lane caught me looking at him.”
“He was that cute, huh?” Kim asked. “What did he look like? Details!”
Ryan pulled the imaginary key out of his pocket and pretended to examine it. “This thing is
broken.”
Kim sighed loudly. “I wouldn’t have to keep interrupting if she’d tell the story right in the
first place.” She looked at me. “Just describe him already.”
“All right, yeah, he was not a bad looking guy. 20s I think… light brown hair, nice smile…”
“What color were his eyes?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
I shook my head. Michelle also looked a bit surprised that I was missing that detail. Ryan
seemed more interested in his French fries.
“I couldn’t see his eyes. He was, like, ten feet away in his car.”
“Okay, so he caught you checking him out…” Kim waved her hand for me to keep talking.
“Looking. He caught me looking in his direction.”
“Same thing.”
“Not really. I actually noticed him because he was playing with something.”
“What?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” Kim shook her head in exasperation. “What kind of story is this?”
“One that would go a lot faster if you weren’t here,” Ryan observed. He bit his lip as though
perhaps that came out harsher than he intended.
Kim didn’t seem to notice. “So he was playing with something and you don’t know what it
was. Was he driving, too?”
I nodded. “Yes. He had this thing, something pink and sort of spikey and springy, and he
had it on the steering wheel and was springing the tentacles in rhythm. I was trying to figure out
what the toy was when he looked over at me. Anyway, we kept passing each other in traffic for
a while and there may have been some flirting.” I stopped for a moment to take a drink. I
thought it might cool off my cheeks.
Kim said, “Then what happened?”
“Well, that’s the part that’s sort of confusing. I wasn’t paying attention and I suddenly
realized that I needed to get in the right lane to make my turn. But the guy, his name turned out
to be Shawn, had just put on his turn signal and…”
Kim interrupted again, “Shawn! How did you find out his name? You had to have stopped at
some point. When did you talk to him?”
“I’m getting to that part. So Shawn thought I wanted to turn because he had his signal on and
he let me in front of him because he thought I was trying to follow him. That’s when he got me
to pull over.”
“How?!” Kim wanted to know.
“Wait!” Now it was Ryan’s turn to interrupt. “You stopped to talk to a complete stranger?
You don’t think that was a little dangerous?”
Kim looked at Ryan before turning back to me. “Relax, Mom, she’s obviously okay. How
did you know he wanted you to pull over?”
“Well, he left his signal flashing and I realized he was giving me a hint. So I stopped in a
well lit and busy parking lot,” that part was directed at Ryan who seemed only a little less
bothered by my judgment, “and he parked his car nearby. And then we talked only for a minute.
He asked for my number, but I wasn’t sure that was a good idea. He put his number in my phone
so I could think about it.”
“Have you thought about it?” Michelle asked.
“I don’t think I’m going to call him.”
Ryan said, “Good,” at the same time that Kim asked me why not. She turned on him.
“What do you mean ‘good?’ Why shouldn’t she call him?”
“She doesn’t know anything about him. He could be…”
“What? A serial killer?” Kim’s tone indicated her derision at the possibility.
“Look,” I said. “He just didn’t… he seemed kind of arrogant and I don’t think he’s my
type.”
“Hang on…” Kim looked suddenly confused. “You stopped to talk to him and you still don’t
know what color his eyes were? I don’t think you were ten feet away in the parking lot.”
“Probably not,” I conceded. “I suppose I just don’t notice eyes.”
Kim shook her head. “Well, did he tell you his last name? We should find out more about
him before we make any decisions.”
“I think she’s made her decision,” Michelle said. “But it might still be fun to look him up.”
I shook my head. “Sorry, guys. I don’t know his last name.”
“Let me see your phone,” Kim insisted.
I handed it over but asked, “Why?”
“We can try one of those reverse phone number look up things. Oh, he wrote ‘call me.’
That’s so sweet.” She had already found my admittedly short list of contacts while talking. She
was finding a pen to copy down the number when our receptionist poked her head into the room.
“Mia,” she said. “There’s a call for you. I’m sorry, he said it was really important.”
I nodded and she said, “Line 2,” before disappearing again.
“You guys aren’t going to do anything stupid like call the guy while I’m gone, are you?” I
was satisfied when Kim looked scandalized at the suggestion. I already knew Michelle and Ryan
wouldn’t.
When the customer said his call was important I think the word he was actually looking for
was long. It was a good thing I had finished eating before he called because I was on the phone
the rest of the lunch hour. I could tell by the looks on Kim and Michelle’s faces that they
weren’t finding any information on Shawn. Ryan brought my phone back to my desk along with
my change from lunch. His thoughtful brown eyes seemed to be trying to tell me something as
he set it down. I was still on the phone and couldn’t ask what it was.
“Yes, sir, I’ll look that up right away,” I said into the phone. Then I pointed at it and moved
my hand like a long-winded puppet. Ryan smiled sympathetically before walking back to his
desk.
Kim confirmed later that there was no new information to be had. I wasn’t concerned. I had
a fun story and that was all I thought I needed from the encounter. I was looking forward to
telling it again the next day when I met Shannon at the gym.
We did a class first, something with lots of jumping around and complicated moves that I
almost followed. We rode bikes for a while afterwards and I told her about meeting Shawn. She
was disappointed that he wasn’t nicer so I felt like I told the story well. Then we cleaned up and
headed for our milkshake rewards. She had the usual chocolate. I felt like a minor change and
ordered strawberry. I had just had my first sip when Shannon said, “Let me see his number.”
“What? Why?”
“I don’t know. Have you tried looking it up to figure out his last name?”
“Yeah,” I pulled the phone out of my bag as I talked, “well, I didn’t, but someone at work
tried and could only find something that said ‘cell phone user.’ That’s not exactly… oh my
goodness!”
“What?!” Shannon asked eagerly while I gaped at the screen of my phone.
“Oh my goodness!” I said again. “There’s another new contact here.” I put one hand over
my mouth and used the other to hold the phone in front of Shannon. Right above where it said
‘Shawn (call me)’ it now said ‘Ryan (call me instead).’
“Is that Ryan from work?” she asked.
“It must be… I don’t know when… oh, yeah, he did have my phone for a minute.”
“You should call him.”
“Really?”
“Oh, come on, you talk about him all the time. You know you want to go out with him.”
“But… what if he only meant it as a joke or just to talk or something.”
“You talk all the time at work. I think he had to have meant it like you want him to have
meant it.”
“I don’t know.”
“There’s one way you can find out.” She looked pointedly from the phone to me and back
again.
“What if I’m chicken?”
“I know you are, but you should still call him.”
“I’ll think about it.”
I paced around my apartment for almost an hour after I got home thinking the whole time
that Shannon was probably right. I did want to call Ryan. That was why I was clutching my
phone the whole time. But I worried that I was also right. Maybe he added his name like that to
be funny. Maybe he was regretting adding his number because of what I might think. I needed
to give him some sort of out. I decided to text him first. I sent: This is Mia. Is this a
good time to talk?
I figured he could say he was busy and then that would be that. I would get the hint; he
would be off the hook. No awkwardness at work. We could just go back to normal.
That’s not what happened. My phone began to buzz in my hand and ‘Ryan (call me instead)’
flashed on my screen. I swallowed hard to push down my nerves before I answered his call.
“Hi, Ryan.”
“Hello.”
“So I… I noticed you put your number in my phone.” I winced at my lame greeting.
“Just now?” he asked.
“Um, a little while ago.”
“How long is a little while?”
I smiled, starting to relax. “I guess it was more like two hours.”
“Two hours? Here I am going out on a limb and you leave me hanging two hours after you
notice? Did it take that long to decide how to turn me down gently?”
“No… I wasn’t sure what you wanted. What do you want?”
“Are you busy tonight?”
“You just want to know if I’m busy?”
“Are you?”
“No.”
“Want to do something with me? Movie?”
“Okay. You know, I didn’t think you were ever going to ask.”
“I didn’t think you were ever going to call.”
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